My sister once told me that she has four major reflective moments each year to assess how she is as a human being: the beginning of Lent, her birthday, the beginning of Advent, and New Years. Tomorrow will be New Year's Eve. How are you and your family?Growing up, my parents encouraged us kids to participate in "giving things up" during Lent, but not before thinking about what we did with our time. This taught me that reflection is necessary before action (or resolution). As I grew older, this practice transitioned into making New Year's resolutions, something I continue to this day. Thanks Mom and Dad!
Help your children cultivate that sense of self-reflection. Encourage them to think about how they are and who they would like to be; how they spend their time and how they would like to grow. Here are some practical tips to help you do that.
Be specific
"I will be awesome" is a great resolution...if you want to fail. Instead, think of specific areas in your life and encourage your children to do the same. What do you do (or don't do) that you want to change (or start to do)? Try something challenging but doable.
Use this format
- I will _________. I plan to do this by __________.OR
- I will not __________. Instead, I will _________.
Example B (for children): I will not watch 2 hours of TV a day. Instead, I will play my musical instrument, read, and play with my Legos.
Start with yourselfYou can't pass on what yourself don't already practice. Before encouraging reflection in your children, take sometime when you 're alone (even if it's in the restroom) and be with yourself and with God. Have you had something peculating for months that you think would be a good resolution? Is there a glaring area of need for balance in your life? Or maybe this will be the year when you finally do XYZ. If you don't try, it won't happen. Try something challenging, but doable.
Encourage your children
Guide your children through a similar process as mentioned above. Help them think about their own lives, how they treat their family and friends, how the spend their time, how much screen time they have, etc. As with yourself, encourage them to try something challenging but doable.
Maybe your resolution will be to be more forthcoming in your relationships: "I will share my resolution with my family. I plan to do this by printing the resolution out and giving it to my family so they can hold me accountable." Sounds like a great plan.
But seriously, if you keep your resolution to yourself, it'll be tough to keep. As the old saying goes, "When shared, joys are multiplied and burdens are divided."
...And may you and your family have a Happy New Year! See you in 2012!
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