Talking to Children about Death

With the recent passing of our Pastor Emeritus Monsignor Tom Cassidy, I thought it would be appropriate to post about a difficult topic of conversation with your children: death.  But instead of trying to write an article, I thought it more fitting to link to a few articles written by people who have talked to children about death, and pull out some common themes (found at the very bottom of the article).

Below are articles from several perspectives, one from a Catholic, one from a hospice care website, and one from more of a psychological background.  Included is information on pamphlets we have at St. Mark meant to help grieving children.  If you have any suggestions about how you have talked to your children about death, leave a comment or send me an email.
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From a Catholic Parenting Expert
Via the Catholic Diocese of Sacramento's Catholic Herald, Dr. Cathleen McGreal answers a few common questions a child may have about death.  Caution: the text is tiny and may be hard to read.  Try to magnify it through your browser.

From a Hospice Care Website
This long-ish article on talking to your children about death takes a look at talking to children about death, but also other issues surrounding death, including whether children visit the dying, attend funerals, or how some children may mourn.

From a Parenting Center
Helpful for parents looking for age-specific suggestions, "How to Talk to Children about Death" suggests how to support children during the grieving process and notes some common reactions to grief for children.

CareNotes for Kids
If you're looking for a physical pamphlet to take home, we have a few pamphlets at St. Mark published by CareNotes for Kids to help your child through the grieving process: Sad Isn't Bad: When Someone You Love Dies; When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief; and When Mom or Dad Dies: A Booklet on Comfort for Kids.  Contact the parish office if you're interested in a copy of any of these pamphlets.

Common Themes

• Talking to your children about death is better than saying nothing
• Don't be afraid to grieve alongside your children
• If children attend a funeral, make sure they know what to expect
• Modify your explanations for your child's age

Image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net